Lantica User Forum - Error Messages

Bob_Hansen Senior Member Members Offline WOW, They have the Internet on computers now! Posts: 1861 Location: Salem, NH Joined: Nov 24^th, 2002	Error Messages Aug 24^th, 2004 at 2:41pm	Print Post
	As a followup to comments in General Discussion Forum, I have provided the following information: Screenshots of errors: http://www.uktsupport.co.uk/humour/messages.htm and http://www.my-tgif.com/errors.htm ============================= Microsoft to sell Ad Space in Error Messages Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression. "We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a 'General Protection Fault' or 'Illegal Operation' warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror. He also mentioned that Microsoft is intended to add banner ads into its Blue Screen of Death in the near future. The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages. ============================= Complete List of Windows 95 Error Messages WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr: 004 Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr: 00B Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More! WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore. WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry. WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that. WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows 3.11. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr: 625 Working Error - The system has been working perfectly for the past ten minutes WniErr: 902 Screen Error - The system is working perfectly, I'm not lying, your monitor is wrong WinErr: 72a Crucial Halt - Hang on, WHAT was that? WinErr: 72b Memory Error - What? Tell me again. WinErr: 39c Disk Error in drive a: - Although your disk is in perfect condition (I just formatted it), I don't like it any more WinErr: 983 Hard Disk Error - The files on the hard disk were neatly arranged and fully optimised, so I had to mess them up and put a couple of hundred .TMP files all over the place WinErr: 294 BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or your computer gets screwed Winerr: 294b BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or I'll show your wife the JPG's you just downloaded Winerr 815 : Insufficient Memory - Only 50,472,563 bytes available ==============================

	Bob Hansen Sesame Database Manager Professional Sensible Solutions Inc. Salem, NH 603-898-8223 Skype ID = sensiblesolutions
	WWW Skype/VoIP IP Logged

Bob_Hansen Senior Member Members Offline WOW, They have the Internet on computers now! Posts: 1861 Location: Salem, NH Joined: Nov 24^th, 2002	Re: Error Messages Reply #1 - Aug 24^th, 2004 at 2:43pm	Print Post
	And others to be included: ============================= Error Messages Planned for Windows 2000 1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. 6. Close your eyes and press escape three times. 7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? 9. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 10. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off." 11. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN." 12. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 13. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. 14. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N) 15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 16. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) 17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 19. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS) 20. USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue. 21. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" 22. Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due... 23. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security? 24. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way. 25. System Unstable... Should I Die now or Die later? (D/D) 26. APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. 27. (001) Logic Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing. 28. (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (V)alium? 29. (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened... 30. (A)bort, (R)etry, (S)elf-destruct? 31. (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza. 32. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. 33. PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair 34. Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic? 35. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. 36. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! 37. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. 38. Illegal error detected - You are not allowed to get this error. 39. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ... 40. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS 41. DYNAMIC LINKING ERROR: Your mistake is now everywhere. 42. Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can. 43. Error 13: Illegal brain function. Process terminated. 44. Error: An unspecified error has occurred. Please correct the error to continue. 45. Error: keyboard locked - try anything you can think of. 46. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 47. Error: Keyboard not responding. Press any key to continue. 48. Fatal system error #3021206. Have a nice day! 49. FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue... 50. Go ahead, make my data! 51. Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode. 52. Reality checksum error! Press any key to restart universe. 53. SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory. 54. Virus detected! Pour chicken soup on motherboard Y/N? 55. ERROR 406: file corrupt: config.earth --- reboot universe? (Y/N) ============================= Final List of Error Codes for Windows 2000 1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 5. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 6. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 7. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 8. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 9. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL.SYS, PAPER.SYS) 10. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. ============================= Error messages from Apple's MPW compiler "String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters, that's 3 more than ANSI said I should)" "...And the lord said, `lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'" "a typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program" "`Volatile' and `Register' are not miscible" "This struct already has a perfectly good definition" "Only one parameter per register please " "type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)" "This array has no size, and that's bad" "Huh ?" "can't go mucking with a `void '" "we already did this function" "The target of this goto is a label in a block that has an automatic variable with an initializer" "This label is the target of a goto from outside of the block containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message" "Call me paranoid but finding `/' inside this comment makes me suspicious" "This function has an explicit return type and deserves a return value" "You are comparing two structures that have holes in them" "Too many errors on one line (make fewer)" "Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM upgrade from your local Apple dealer" "Trailing comma not permitted in enum definition. (This time I'm letting you off with a warning)" ============================= HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES Imagine if, instead of incomprehensible geeky text strings, your computer produced error messages in Haiku . . . * * * * * The file that you seek? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. * * * * * The Web site you seek is not to be found right now. But there are others. * * * * * Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. * * * * * Aborted effort. Close all that you have opened. You ask far too much. * * * * * First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. * * * * * With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. * * * * * The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. * * * * * Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. * * * * * Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire: The network is down. * * * * * A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. * * * * * Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. * * * * * Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. * * * * * You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. * * * * * Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. * * * * * Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. * * * * * Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: "File not found." * * * * * Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. * * * * *

	Bob Hansen Sesame Database Manager Professional Sensible Solutions Inc. Salem, NH 603-898-8223 Skype ID = sensiblesolutions
	WWW Skype/VoIP IP Logged

The Cow YaBB Administrator Offline Posts: 2530 Joined: Nov 22^nd, 2002	Re: Error Messages Reply #2 - Aug 24^th, 2004 at 3:13pm	Print Post
	My least favorite (real) error in MSWindows is the new one that has been intergrated into XP. If any program crashes, microsoft offers to send the error, plus some structural info, and who-knows-what-else off to microsoft for examination! Even if it is not one of their own fine products. I believe that this means: 1. Microsoft has reached the point where they actually believe that every program you might ever want to run is one of theirs. 2. Microsoft believes that any program that crashes must be one of theirs. 3. Microsoft believes that any program that crashes is their business and they have a profound right to collect information about it.

	Mark Lasersohn&&Programmer&&Lantica Software, LLC
	WWW IP Logged

BOBSCOTT Senior Member Members Offline That Darn Computer #$X# {curse words} Posts: 1195 Joined: Nov 22^nd, 2002	Re: Error Messages Reply #3 - Aug 24^th, 2004 at 5:33pm	Print Post
	Or maybe they are finally realizing all the problems windows has and know #4 Any problem you have has been caused by Microsoft

	Team � Together Everyone Achieves More
	IP Logged